You said earlier that you would act like rational human beings if the end of the world were approaching. But, let’s get real here. Who would start masturbating furiously after six weeks in lockup?
That’s a good question. [Considers this for a moment.] It might be me.
When I was going through puberty I was the oldest kid, so I didn’t have anyone to talk to about it. I thought it was somehow bad, like it would stunt my growth—so I really tried to stop. [Laughs.] I was really late getting hair under my arms, and I thought it was ’cause—
—you jerked off too much? It was the friction of your arm.
I don’t know how I got it into my head, but I thought it was because I jerked off too much. There was no Google or anything where I could look it up, so I really tried to stop, and I couldn’t. I was like, [Makes jerking off motion.] No! You can’t.